


I don't know who you are, but I, I'm with you

by Diggory_Venn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s12e11 Regarding Dean, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:00:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24157756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diggory_Venn/pseuds/Diggory_Venn
Summary: A missing scene from the season 12 episode "Regarding Dean" that occurs in a made up time between Sam calling Rowena and meeting up with her. A "what-if" where Dean is left alone in the motel room after freaking out in the bathroom, and Castiel finally appears to answer Sam's summons.P.S. It has been awhile since I've watched this episode, so forgive the artistic license.P.P.S. Now with artwork!
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 75





	I don't know who you are, but I, I'm with you

‘Dean…that was his name. Dean.’ He thought that if he could just remember his name, everything else would be okay. Who cared if witches were real and he apparently hunted him? Who cared if his…brother? Also hunted with him? And who really cared about any of this? As long as he had a name he had an identity. He wouldn’t lose himself as...Sam (that was it!) seemed to fear.

Sam had left him alone in the motel with the…picture box...that showed the funny dog running and talking—and wasn’t that funny! He didn’t think dogs normally did that. Did they?

Sam had to talk to another witch about getting rid of the other witch for some reason. Now, he and that witch went to go kill the other witch. So, he had to sit here in this yellow room with the picture box on a…pillow rectangle? No, a bed! He had to sit here on a bed while Sam discussed problems he couldn’t be concerned with because he simply couldn’t remember why he should care. To try to remind himself why any of this mattered, he decided to recite what Sam had told him.

“Okay. My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Uh, Mary Winchester is my mom. And Cast-Cas is my best friend” said Dean aloud as started to pace the small room. “My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Mary Winchester is my mom. Cas is my best friend,” he repeated. There, that wasn’t so bad! If only he could remember why he should give a crap about any of it!

He felt good with Sam around. Sam wouldn’t let him get into trouble. But Sam was worried all the freakin’ time, and that made Dean worry! Whenever Sam was around, Dean’s anxiety spiked despite the big lug’s comforting presence.

He was alone in more ways than one now.

Suddenly, there was someone else in the room. Dean let out an exclamation (“What the hell?!”) as he fell back onto the bed in alarm.

A dark-haired man in a (long shirt? Jacket!) tan jacket stood just in front of the door (even though Dean was a thousand percent sure that he hadn’t heard the door open) looking at him with a blank expression. The man seemed neither alarmed at Dean’s reaction or at seeing Dean there at all. Was Dean in the wrong room? He didn’t think so because Sam put him here, and Sam knew what was going on in the damn world even if he had no clue. This was the right room, so this guy must be a monster. Maybe another witch? That made sense. Only problem was, he didn’t remember how to fight monsters or witches.

Just as he was getting ready to grab something long and sharp, the man spoke.

“Dean.”

It was only one word, but the way he said it…Dean knew him. The…concern that the strange man put into that one word alone was…familiar. Looking at him and hearing him speak, Dean felt a kind of warmth for him that was different than what he felt for Sam. It was like a light in all this muddled darkness, and, unlike the anxiety that radiated off Sam, this man felt calm and safe even with his obvious concern. Sam didn’t mention that he had a boyfriend or lover or something. ‘My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Mary Winchester is my mom. Cas is my best friend,’ he thought again, wondering if he had already forgotten something or someone.

“Dean?”

This time the man’s tone was questioning and the concern deeper then before. He had started towards Dean with an arm outstretched near his own.

“I’m sorry, but—who are you?”

The man’s face started in surprise, but Dean was so used to that happening to everyone around him that he felt no surprise. He just had to wait until this guy told him who he was—and why the guy made him feel this way. The man’s face fell as he replied.

“Dean. It’s me. Castiel.”

Castiel? Castiel. Castiel, Cas! His best friend!

“You’re Cas?” Dean asked, elated to have remembered something all on his own.

“Yes,” the man (Cas!) replied with a touch of exasperation and exhaustion. “I received Sam’s message. Are you well?”

“Well, I’m not not well. Things are going okay I guess.”

“So, it is true that you have no memory?”

“Not really,” Dean replied offhandedly. This was apparently the wrong attitude to take as Cas’ face fell and he looked more concerned than ever.

“Hey man, don’t worry about it,” Dean said, trying to be reassuring. “Sam’s meeting with some witch to work on getting to the other witches, and it’ll all work out. We hunt monsters, so it’ll be okay.”

Cas didn’t look all that convinced, but his hand retreated back to his side, and his shoulders slumped lower.

“I must go speak with Sam to see if he needs my help.”

Cas turned to go, but Dean couldn’t let him leave yet. Not when he still didn’t understand this weird, psycho feeling that he apparently only felt in the presence of his best friend.

“Wait!” he said, rising from the bed to grab Cas’ hand to stop him from going. Cas looked up at him in surprise, but that didn’t stop Dean from talking.

“Look, I don’t know who you are, but I…” Dean paused a moment to think how best to say it. “I’m with you.”

Cas gave him a puzzled look again, so he continued in his own stupid way. “I don’t know who you are, or what you mean to me, but you’re here with me, and I’m, I’m with you too.” Dean knew he was making no sense, but who cared! He didn’t know who he was, much less who this guy is, but he felt something when he looked at his poufy hair and blue eyes. He didn’t remember anything, but he knew how he felt around Cas, and he felt good.

He felt so good, that he just leaned forward and gave the man a kiss right on his pouty lips.

It lasted a total of five seconds before Dean pulled back with a lazy grin and not a care in the world. Cas, for his part, looked completely and utterly stunned as he raised a hand to touch his bottom lip. Dean figured he might as well lean in for another kiss, but as he got nearer, Cas started and moved towards the door really jumpily, like he had ants in his pants. ‘Ants in his pants,’ Dean mused to himself. ‘Hah!’

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Cas said as his face started to turn red, “but I have to leave. I’ve…I’ve received news from, from the Angels.”

“Alright, I’ll see you around dude,” Dean said unconcernedly. He turned away from Cas to look at the box and wondered if the dog was still running inside. Wouldn’t he reach the end of it soon?

“I—I hope you will recover your memory soon, Dean,” Cas said quietly.

Dean turned to look at him, but he was already gone. ‘Huh. Wonder how he did that?’

Dean stood for some undetermined amount of time (hell if he knew) in the middle of the room looking at the unchanging yellow walls. Eventually, Sam came back in from outside.

“Dean? Are you alright? We’re almost ready to get rid of the witches, but you should probably stay here for that.”

“Yep.”

“Anything happen while I was gone?”

Dean didn’t answer right away, and, despite all the fear and anxiety of losing himself, he felt a smile appear on his face though he wasn’t sure why.

“Nothing that I can remember.”

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing in this fandom! When I first saw this episode, I really wanted Castiel to show up so Dean could try to remember him, but since it didn't happen, I wrote this instead. The title comes from Avril Lavigne's "I'm With You," which I think fits this episode pretty well. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy!


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